Saturday, April 16, 2011

To my eyes, this is beauty in all honesty. Some people look down on those that choose to express themselves through body art. I for one know a lot of people that believe tattoos are hideous, dirty and just pointless. But I tell them that they don’t get that feeling of satisfaction when you finally let yourself go and be ultimately free.  This picture showed me a man that loves his woman and that even though some perceive him as a punk, drop out or whatever stereotype people say when they see a person with tattoos, is a genuinely good man. We constantly forget that an image of a person is a reflection of who he is. We constantly prejudice on the fact that people with tattoos deface and waste their lives on such pointless things. But when I see a man that is passionate about life and walks the way he preaches even though he is filled with tattoos as against to a man that is upright and “clean” but preaches before he looks upon himself and what he does. Then I’d better be with the man with tattoos. I’d rather be hated for standing up for what I believe in and fuck what the world wants than to be someone that pretends he is clean but has bones in his closet.

( Photo Source: kruelintentions )

To my eyes, this is beauty in all honesty. Some people look down on those that choose to express themselves through body art. I for one know a lot of people that believe tattoos are hideous, dirty and just pointless. But I tell them that they don’t get that feeling of satisfaction when you finally let yourself go and be ultimately free.

This picture showed me a man that loves his woman and that even though some perceive him as a punk, drop out or whatever stereotype people say when they see a person with tattoos, is a genuinely good man. We constantly forget that an image of a person is a reflection of who he is. We constantly prejudice on the fact that people with tattoos deface and waste their lives on such pointless things. But when I see a man that is passionate about life and walks the way he preaches even though he is filled with tattoos as against to a man that is upright and “clean” but preaches before he looks upon himself and what he does. Then I’d better be with the man with tattoos. I’d rather be hated for standing up for what I believe in and fuck what the world wants than to be someone that pretends he is clean but has bones in his closet.


xxx
Renee

I have a lot of plans for my body. I wanted to get slim, sexy, or just fit. I wanted to be in the best shape before I graduate and be out in the big world. I saw myself as someone who deserves love and yet still work hard for it. You have to work hard for everything. When that time comes and I’m fit and I can go out proudly without stressing how gratuitous my arms are, or how my thighs have a lot of cellulite.  If that time will come, and I know it will. I’ll make my body into a working canvass of my life. I’ll get tattoos that represent each chapter of my life, my aspirations, my goals and I will own my body and show other people who I really am. I may not have control over my life right now, since my parents are still there and they want my life the way they picture it. When the time comes and I can stand up on my own, I’ll get a tattoo saying that I am free. I’ll put my mother near my heart and my future husband right on top of it then my future children. They will all be part of who I am and I’ll be proud to show the world that they have been part of my life. And maybe, even Tumblr. It has been Tumblr who absorbed all my pain and all my joys. I consider Tumblr a savior of my life and the lives of many others. Thanks to this website, no—- community, I’ve learned to become a better person.  Thanks guys! Be it a follower, unfollower, or even non-follower. I’ll say thank you to you because you made my life great. The Tumblr community has become the siter I never had, the brother I never imagined, the mother that always cared, and the father that counseled. I love you guys from the bottom of my heart and I hope I’ll never have to let you go. ♥

( Photo Source: zacmonty )

I have a lot of plans for my body. I wanted to get slim, sexy, or just fit. I wanted to be in the best shape before I graduate and be out in the big world. I saw myself as someone who deserves love and yet still work hard for it. You have to work hard for everything. When that time comes and I’m fit and I can go out proudly without stressing how gratuitous my arms are, or how my thighs have a lot of cellulite.

If that time will come, and I know it will. I’ll make my body into a working canvass of my life. I’ll get tattoos that represent each chapter of my life, my aspirations, my goals and I will own my body and show other people who I really am. I may not have control over my life right now, since my parents are still there and they want my life the way they picture it. When the time comes and I can stand up on my own, I’ll get a tattoo saying that I am free. I’ll put my mother near my heart and my future husband right on top of it then my future children. They will all be part of who I am and I’ll be proud to show the world that they have been part of my life. And maybe, even Tumblr. It has been Tumblr who absorbed all my pain and all my joys. I consider Tumblr a savior of my life and the lives of many others. Thanks to that website, no—- community, I’ve learned to become a better person.

Be it a follower, unfollower, or even non-follower. I’ll say thank you to you because you made my life great. The Tumblr community has become the sister I never had, the brother I never imagined, the mother that always cared, and the father that counseled. I love those guys from the bottom of my heart and I hope I’ll never have to let them go. ♥


xxx
Renee

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Uncertain Future

I'm afraid for what might come in the following term. I've just seen my grade and I've failed a major class. I'm scared that I might not finish my course and that I might actually be more delayed than I am now. I'm so afraid of the consequences. I don't want to fail. I'm scared about what my mom might say. I'm so scared of what could happen, all of the plans that she had made for me. All of those people expecting me to be the best. I'm so scared. I don't want to be a burden to them, but I guess that it's already late for that. I don't even think I deserve what they've given me.


I'm still not sure if all of my subjects have a failing mark, but I guess this means that I won't be using Tumblr often next term. I have to be disciplined. I have to make it right. I guess this is the problem with me. I'm an inconsistent fuck. I need to get it straight of I'll lose everything. I don't want that to happen, who even does want that to happen? I'm a failure as a daughter and even a more failure as a student. How can this even get better? HOW?


So sorry for my fucking pessimism but I just can't help it. I've been failing time and time again. I need my next term to be a payback. Everyone who ever shot me down or broke me will pay. I swear that on my fucking uterus. I'll succeed in this. I'll work hard. I have to. I have to work hard.


xxx
Renee

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

RANGO

RANGO (2011)  How can I even start on assessing this movie? Firstly, I would like to comment the wonderful animation they did with this movie. The 3D animation they did here was really mind blowing. I really recommend it for those people that like to watch 3D animated movies. Secondly, I couldn’t even comprehend on the storyline of this movie. It’s a kids film but the way they did it is a bit PG-13. I’m not saying it has some swearing or nudity but it’s a bit psychedelic even I was a bit weirded out by the movie. I guess it’s because of the way they incorporated the essence of the West in the story. Thirdly, I really love the part where you seem to look at a real live animal and not an animation. I really applaud the makers of this 3D animated movie. They did a wonderful job, it was simply amazing. And lastly, I would like to applaud Mr. Johnny Depp for again, choosing the right project that’ll be sure milestone for animation. He was in this movie and yet still not. Rango’s voice was not Johnny Depp’s but it was as if Rango was really alive. Simply amazing!  Okay. So that’s basically what I think about the movie Rango. I recommend it to those who are looking for something new and mind wondering. Again, I will warn you it gets a bit psychedelic in some scenes but the story and the overall story of the film is wonderful. Go check it out in the cinemas near you. You’ll appreciate it more if you watch it in the cinema, I promise!   ©RAJACOBE

RANGO (2011)

How can I even start on assessing this movie? Firstly, I would like to comment the wonderful animation they did with this movie. The 3D animation they did here was really mind blowing. I really recommend it for those people that like to watch 3D animated movies. Secondly, I couldn’t even comprehend on the storyline of this movie. It’s a kids film but the way they did it is a bit PG-13. I’m not saying it has some swearing or nudity but it’s a bit psychedelic even I was a bit weirded out by the movie. I guess it’s because of the way they incorporated the essence of the West in the story. Thirdly, I really love the part where you seem to look at a real live animal and not an animation. I really applaud the makers of this 3D animated movie. They did a wonderful job, it was simply amazing. And lastly, I would like to applaud Mr. Johnny Depp for again, choosing the right project that’ll be sure milestone for animation. He was in this movie and yet still not. Rango’s voice was not Johnny Depp’s but it was as if Rango was really alive. Simply amazing!

Okay. So that’s basically what I think about the movie Rango. I recommend it to those who are looking for something new and mind wondering. Again, I will warn you it gets a bit psychedelic in some scenes but the story and the overall story of the film is wonderful. Go check it out in the cinemas near you. You’ll appreciate it more if you watch it in the cinema, I promise!


xxx
Renee

Get Him to the Greek

Get Him to the Greek   Some might say this was a pointless movie to watch but I say it ain’t. I loved how Russell Brands did his character, very aloof and yet deep. I guess, yes, the meaning of the movie and some parts of the plot was not that good but it was a good movie nonetheless. I enjoyed the quirky and eccentric way it was played out and the scened were very funny. I won’t go into much details so as to not spoil anybody who hasn’t seen it and the such. But I think you guys should give it a try. It’ll give you a somewhat overview of what fans might not see behind those rock star lives.  And maybe this is a reflection of some sort to what is happening to our generations’ “rock stars”. We believe that rock stars should be banged up, knocked up, and straight out just awesome. Well, I think this movie will let you see the other side. It’ll let you see what makes a rock star rise, fall, and rise again. Maybe I am over thinking this or what-not but this is just my opinion.   So, just go watch it and enjoy!

Get Him to the Greek

Some might say this was a pointless movie to watch but I say it ain’t. I loved how Russell Brands did his character, very aloof and yet deep. I guess, yes, the meaning of the movie and some parts of the plot was not that good but it was a good movie nonetheless. I enjoyed the quirky and eccentric way it was played out and the scened were very funny. I won’t go into much details so as to not spoil anybody who hasn’t seen it and the such. But I think you guys should give it a try. It’ll give you a somewhat overview of what fans might not see behind those rock star lives.

And maybe this is a reflection of some sort to what is happening to our generations’ “rock stars”. We believe that rock stars should be banged up, knocked up, and straight out just awesome. Well, I think this movie will let you see the other side. It’ll let you see what makes a rock star rise, fall, and rise again. Maybe I am over thinking this or what-not but this is just my opinion.

So, just go watch it and enjoy!


xxx
Renee

Monday, April 11, 2011

A Little Thing Called Love

A Little Thing Called Love                  Where do I begin? Really? This movie had made me reflect not only my life in college right now, but also my life in high school and elementary. The movie was full of scenes that somehow depicted how I  had spent my high school years waiting, wanting and wishing so desperately for that someone to take notice of me. Ha! To those who knew me and who my crush was back at that time would know what I’m talking about. I’ve been looking at his way, wishing he’d take notice of me but I guess I wasn’t as lucky and persevering as Nam, the lead female role. This movie is about young love, a love that made a girl into a great woman. I guess you could say that its genre is for kids and reminiscing kids at heart. It makes you remember the great things you did in high school. The laughters you had with your friends, the silly fights with that bitch in the next class, that feeling of being in love for the first time. I can’t even stress enough how this movie had tickled that longing in me to go back to my high school days and just stay there forever. I won’t go on to much more details about it, since I want you guys to watch and have that certain feeling of finding what I have found. I won’t go on into the scenes. All I can say is that, prepare for the scenes where it’ll make you cry, laugh, have little heartaches, and a lot of glazed reminiscence of your high school life. I hope you guys will enjoy it just like how I did. You can watch it online here! :)

A Little Thing Called Love

Where do I begin? Really? This movie had made me reflect not only my life in college right now, but also my life in high school and elementary. The movie was full of scenes that somehow depicted how I had spent my high school years waiting, wanting and wishing so desperately for that someone to take notice of me. Ha! To those who knew me and who my crush was back at that time would know what I’m talking about. I’ve been looking at his way, wishing he’d take notice of me but I guess I wasn’t as lucky and persevering as Nam, the lead female role.

This movie is about young love, a love that made a girl into a great woman. I guess you could say that its genre is for kids and reminiscing kids at heart. It makes you remember the great things you did in high school. The laughters you had with your friends, the silly fights with that bitch in the next class, that feeling of being in love for the first time. I can’t even stress enough how this movie had tickled that longing in me to go back to my high school days and just stay there forever. I won’t go on to much more details about it, since I want you guys to watch and have that certain feeling of finding what I have found. I won’t go on into the scenes. All I can say is that, prepare for the scenes where it’ll make you cry, laugh, have little heartaches, and a lot of glazed reminiscence of your high school life.

I hope you guys will enjoy it just like how I did. You can watch it online here! :)


xxx
Renee

THE EXPENDABLES

The Expendables  Yesterday, I had this sudden craving for good movies and that basically ended up with this movie. The Expendables is a melting pot of all the hardcore action-adrenaline movies you will see as of late 2010. It has not only Sylvester Stallone but also the brightest and most sought after action movie stars like Jason Statham, Jet Li, “Stonecold” Steve Austin, and a lot more! I can’t tell you enough how I shizzed myself with this movie. The fight scenes was impeccable, the guns, the tactics, and even the plot itself was something. It wasn’t just any other action movie that punches you in the face with good looking girls and fight scenes like there’s no tomorrow. This movie actually let’s you see beyond the facade of “relentless killing machines”.  I won’t go on to the details, but just watch it guys. But I have to warn you though, it has some freaking excessive violence. But all in all, it’s all you can ask for in terms of the action, adventure, and hard kicking fuckers. :)

The Expendables

Yesterday, I had this sudden craving for good movies and that basically ended up with this movie. The Expendables is a melting pot of all the hardcore action-adrenaline movies you will see as of late 2010. It has not only Sylvester Stallone but also the brightest and most sought after action movie stars like Jason Statham, Jet Li, “Stonecold” Steve Austin, and a lot more!

I can’t tell you enough how I shizzed myself with this movie. The fight scenes was impeccable, the guns, the tactics, and even the plot itself was something. It wasn’t just any other action movie that punches you in the face with good looking girls and fight scenes like there’s no tomorrow. This movie actually let’s you see beyond the facade of “relentless killing machines”.

I won’t go on to the details, but just watch it guys. But I have to warn you though, it has some freaking excessive violence. But all in all, it’s all you can ask for in terms of the action, adventure, and hard kicking fuckers. :)


xxx
Renee

helgaholic:  victorvaldez:    just because a woman is no longer a virgin means she is worth nothing. a woman is worth more than what’s between her legs…  I usually reblog wordart only to make fun of it but this is an exception.  Whether a woman is still a virgin or not is never the basis for real love. If someone said they can’t be with you just because your “not pure” anymore. I suggest you leave that person, ‘cause he really doesn’t love you. Superficial men should e left for superficial women. Let them be together, so they can rot in their self righteous graves.

Whether a woman is still a virgin or not is never the basis for real love. If someone said they can’t be with you just because your “not pure” anymore. I suggest you leave that person, ‘cause he really doesn’t love you. Superficial men should e left for superficial women. Let them be together, so they can rot in their self righteous graves.

(Photo Source: victorvaldez)

xxx
Renee

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time  Yes, yes. I know. I’m awfully late. And yes, I haven’t seen this movie up until just a few hours ago. And now I know why. I’ve been really looking forward to watching this movie ‘cause I thought it was as great as the game it was based upon. I could say that it was good, but not great. Maybe it was just me but I was bored into some of the scenes. I thought it took longer or I got easily distracted with things on the movie. I must say though that the effects was commendable. The fight scenes though were a bit dizzying, due to it being fast paced and brusko. The plot was fine it had a great twist to it but the end was a tad bit disappointing. Although I love having a “happily-ever-after” type of ending, it just seemed… weird. But I guess it is in your hands to decide whether you liked the film or not. For those of you who has not seen the movie up until now, I suggest you do if you like Jake Gyllenhaal, action, and those Arabic Nights themed movies. It’s actually a good watch, just not for me I think.  Come see it if still haven’t and don’t let my review stop you. If you do have a different opinion than I am then do not rub it off my face because we are individuals and we have our own preferences and standards. Agree? Agreed. Anyway, that’s that! Next movie would be, The Expendables.

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time

Yes, yes. I know. I’m awfully late. And yes, I haven’t seen this movie up until just a few hours ago. And now I know why. I’ve been really looking forward to watching this movie ‘cause I thought it was as great as the game it was based upon. I could say that it was good, but not great.

Maybe it was just me but I was bored into some of the scenes. I thought it took longer or I got easily distracted with things on the movie. I must say though that the effects was commendable. The fight scenes though were a bit dizzying, due to it being fast paced and brusko. The plot was fine it had a great twist to it but the end was a tad bit disappointing. Although I love having a “happily-ever-after” type of ending, it just seemed… weird.

But I guess it is in your hands to decide whether you liked the film or not. For those of you who has not seen the movie up until now, I suggest you do if you like Jake Gyllenhaal, action, and those Arabic Nights themed movies. It’s actually a good watch, just not for me I think.

Come see it if still haven’t and don’t let my review stop you. If you do have a different opinion than I am then do not rub it off my face because we are individuals and we have our own preferences and standards. Agree? Agreed. Anyway, that’s that! Next movie would be, The Expendables.


xxx
Renee

Sunday, April 10, 2011

DIE MOTHERFUCKER | (c) Renee Jacobe

DIE MOTHERFUCKER | (c) Renee Jacobe

Madre | © Renee Jacobe

Madre | © Renee Jacobe

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

So today I finally got the time and chance to develop the film I used during the Cosplay Genre Wars last August 7, 2010. I was very excited to see the end result of my efforts ‘cause I’ve been waiting for the right time to ask my mom to take me to a developing place. But the best part was when I saw the pictures. Out of the 3 pcs. 36 shot film that I used only 23 got developed. Some were even blurry and just plain blank. So now, I feel like I’ve put all my effort and time to nothing.


But if you’ll look at it on the brighter side, at least I learned something today.

  1. Always check your lighting!
  2. Set up flash when you’re indoors.
  3. Patience is a virtue.
  4. Perfect timing is key to great still shots.
  5. Use your film wisely!
  6. Let your subjects true beauty shine!
  7. Have fun!


And of course, PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! :D


“I will never give up on a dream that I know I can achieve.”


xxx
Renee

Tattoo

So it got me thinking, I want a tattoo. Maybe something that’s a couple themed. Me and Harley was thinking of something like a bracelet type of tat that has our first name’s initial letter as a pendant like. I dunno. I’m not really sure of just something like that. :)

Then, I want something like a La Salle star right around the nape of my neck. I think that would’ve been awesome. Something I like to make as a tattoo would be something like; a quote or maybe inspirational or unforgettable words that my boyfriend had said to me. LOL. All I speak about is my boyfriend. Pity. Oh!

I’d love to put something like:

“I’d rather be crushed, decapitated and dead than to ever let you go without a fight.”

or maybe something like:

“We will wrap ourselves to the sweet ecstasy of love again someday, my love.”

and then maybe lastly, something like:

“We wished upon millions of stars to only find out that the star we are looking for has fallen down to earth.”

but I think I shorter one would do, like:

“Loving you and more is my curse.”

Anyway, those were only just dreams and desires. I really want to get a tattoo. :3


xxx
Renee

La Naval | © Renee Jacobe

La Naval | © Renee Jacobe
“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”
- Rosemary Urquico
Words that destroy our aspirations to be anything we can be. Words that break and destroy our confidence. Being not enough.

(Photo Source: unomagazine)

xxx
Renee

This was taken outside of the library in De La Salle University this February 18, 2011. I just got my henna tattoo and I just wanted to take a bad ass photo with it. I’m loving the design, how ‘bout you? :)

This was taken outside of the library in De La Salle University this February 18, 2011. I just got my henna tattoo and I just wanted to take a bad ass photo with it. I’m loving the design, how ‘bout you? :)


xxx
Renee

After Hiatus

Hello dearests!  I’ve come from a semi-lengthy hiatus due to these things. I’ve practically made mess of everything I should have been hanging on to, which is my studies, my vocabulary, my family, and most importantly my life. I can’t seem to focus on anything anymore. I mean, I can focus for like 1 or 2 weeks or so but then I’ll suddenly have this episode of blur and distraught after. I really can’t seem to be in focus. Maybe it’s because of my lack of commitment to what I’m doing or maybe it’s because I don’t seem to find things interesting anymore. All of it seems so mechanical, so robotic, so clerical. I hate repetition and all things that are non-challenging.  I’m not saying that I don’t find things challenging, especially with a course like mine. Fuck. Speaking of my course, I’m hating how my mom’s guilt tripping me on finishing me double course and not really getting how I feel about my accountancy. I mean, I do understand that she just wants the best for me and accountancy really is one of the best courses out there. I just don’t understand why she can’t accept the fact that I don’t like accountancy. I want to study Advertising. I know some people might say, it’s for the elite of the upper to high-middle class section of the society but why can’t I at least try? Am I not talented enough? I don’t think so, since she herself said that I do have some talent but she just won’t accept that I want to shift. It frustrates me to know that I can’t become someone that I’ve already pictured myself doing in, let’s say 5-10 years from now.  I’m sorry for ranting. I just couldn’t help expressing myself and just typing away. Anyway, so there. That’s basically what’s been boggling my mind for the past few weeks. I hope you guys are okay and thank you for still being here, as my followers and confidant. I love you guys, even though I don’t know some of you personally and we are miles and miles apart. Thank you my dear followers and good night, or good morning to those that are in a different time zone! :)  xoxo

Hello dearests!

I’ve come from a semi-lengthy hiatus due to these things. I’ve practically made mess of everything I should have been hanging on to, which is my studies, my vocabulary, my family, and most importantly my life. I can’t seem to focus on anything anymore. I mean, I can focus for like 1 or 2 weeks or so but then I’ll suddenly have this episode of blur and distraught after. I really can’t seem to be in focus. Maybe it’s because of my lack of commitment to what I’m doing or maybe it’s because I don’t seem to find things interesting anymore. All of it seems so mechanical, so robotic, so clerical. I hate repetition and all things that are non-challenging.

I’m not saying that I don’t find things challenging, especially with a course like mine. Fuck. Speaking of my course, I’m hating how my mom’s guilt tripping me on finishing me double course and not really getting how I feel about my accountancy. I mean, I do understand that she just wants the best for me and accountancy really is one of the best courses out there. I just don’t understand why she can’t accept the fact that I don’t like accountancy. I want to study Advertising. I know some people might say, it’s for the elite of the upper to high-middle class section of the society but why can’t I at least try? Am I not talented enough? I don’t think so, since she herself said that I do have some talent but she just won’t accept that I want to shift. It frustrates me to know that I can’t become someone that I’ve already pictured myself doing in, let’s say 5-10 years from now.

I’m sorry for ranting. I just couldn’t help expressing myself and just typing away. Anyway, so there. That’s basically what’s been boggling my mind for the past few weeks. I hope you guys are okay and thank you for still being here, as my followers and confidant. I love you guys, even though I don’t know some of you personally and we are miles and miles apart. Thank you my dear followers and good night, or good morning to those that are in a different time zone! :)


xxx
Renee

Proposal

I’ll always remember that moment when you asked me in that cold dimly-lit room the one question all girls who are in love with someone yearn to be asked. I’ll always remember how I laughed because I thought you were joking and when I realized you weren’t, I started to cry.

You may not be the most perfect, debonair, or handsome man out there. You may not be rich or of the same wavelength as me, but I know you and I compliment and supplement each others personality. I’m happy to be your girlfriend, even though we’re in a point of separation right now. Hopefully, after everything that we’re going through right now you’d still love me and you won’t take back your proposal. I love you, and thank you.


xxx
Renee

Worth While

We all have that doubts and second thoughts, but one thing I learned in loving someone is that whatever happens you’ll feel like it is worth it. Every single heartache and pain was worth it and your time with that person was worth while.

xxx
Renee

Conversations with my Mom

Me: *engrossed in Tumblr in my room*
Mom: Wala ka bang gagawin para sa school?
Me: *stares at my mom for a while then returns to Tumblr*
Mom: Tinatamad ka na ba?
Me: *stares at my mom not really hinting on my true feelings*
Mom: Alam mo, sabihin mo lang kung tinatamad ka na mag-aral para di ka na mag-aral.
Me: *blinks rapidly and then just tries to ignore my mom's comment*
Mom: Alam mo, nakakatamad na din kasi eh. Kung ayaw mo na mag-aral bat pa ako magpapakahirap magtrabaho para lang makapag-aral ka. Kung ayaw mo na mag-aral sabihin mo na lang para di ka na magsayang ng oras mo tsaka ng lakas.
Me: *hides on a desk that covers my bed and then starts to cry quietly*

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Minister III | April 7, 2011

Minister III | April 7, 2011  I finally found my grandmother’s Yashica Minister III. I thought I lost it in my jungle of a room. LOL! Good thing I found it. I would’ve been so screwed. Anyway, I bought a new book today and it’s about 35mm cameras and the basics of it. It’s somewhat a How-to guide. :)  xXx

I finally found my grandmother’s Yashica Minister III. I thought I lost it in my jungle of a room. LOL! Good thing I found it. I would’ve been so screwed. Anyway, I bought a new book today and it’s about 35mm cameras and the basics of it. It’s somewhat a How-to guide. :)

xxx
Renee

STARING | April 7, 2011

STARING | April 7, 2011  Today was a so-so day. I had a massive headache after my French4 class. French is really a hard language to learn. All those errrr and uggghhh. Hahaha. Very tricky stuff. Anyways, I’ve been bumming out the past few weeks even though I should’ve been killing and draining myself from all the studying. I wish I could just fast forward and all of this would be over. Right? :)  So here’s something from my French4 finals exam, this is me saying what type of fashion (clothes,style,accessories, etc.):  Bonjour! Je m’appelle Antonette. :)  Je prefere le minimaliste ensemble et le rock vintage style. Je prefere en denim pantalon avec un coton Tee-shirt blanc et des chaussurs en toile. J’accompagne des ensembles avec different couleur balleurs, croix pendantif et stud boucle d’orielle. Je prefere les styles a la plage aussi. J’aime les shorts du surf et en cotton graphique Tee-shirt, parce que c’est tres artistique et confortable. Je prefere les deux style, parce que je suis de type de personne qui n’aime pas a prendre longue heures en prepare ce qu’elle faut a l’usure.   xxx Renee

Today was a so-so day. I had a massive headache after my French4 class. French is really a hard language to learn. All those errrr and uggghhh. Hahaha. Very tricky stuff. Anyways, I’ve been bumming out the past few weeks even though I should’ve been killing and draining myself from all the studying. I wish I could just fast forward and all of this would be over. Right? :)

So here’s something from my French4 finals exam, this is me saying what type of fashion (clothes,style,accessories, etc.):

Bonjour! Je m’appelle Antonette. :)

Je prefere le minimaliste ensemble et le rock vintage style. Je prefere en denim pantalon avec un coton Tee-shirt blanc et des chaussurs en toile. J’accompagne des ensembles avec different couleur balleurs, croix pendantif et stud boucle d’orielle. Je prefere les styles a la plage aussi. J’aime les shorts du surf et en cotton graphique Tee-shirt, parce que c’est tres artistique et confortable. Je prefere les deux style, parce que je suis de type de personne qui n’aime pas a prendre longue heures en prepare ce qu’elle faut a l’usure.


xxx
Renee

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Something my boyfriend told me through text. You don’t know how heavy my heart feels like right now. I don’t even know the proper word to describe the pain. I think this was his reaction and answer to a post I’ve made yesterday. :(

Something my boyfriend told me through text. You don’t know how heavy my heart feels like right now. I don’t even know the proper word to describe the pain. I think this was his reaction and answer to a post I’ve made yesterday. :(


xxx
Renee

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Just a Thought

Do you really believe that we are still in love with each other or are we just in love with the concept of finding love. I know you’ve been constantly telling me that I am the one for you, that I’m gonna be the woman that’ll bear your children and be with you ‘till eternity. But how can you be so sure? I know we’ve been together for almost 2 years now. I know you’ve always been there for me. I know you’re intentions are pure, but why do I have a feeling like something has changed between us.

I have this feeling like we’re drifting apart. It is as if you’re moving in a state in our relationship that I just can’t commit fully right now. Maybe it’s because I’m younger than you. Or maybe I still have a lot of things on my mind and I feel like I need to do a lot of things that I can’t do when you’re there. I’m scared that if ever I let go of you, you might not come back. Or when the time comes that I’m ready and fully committed, you’re already tired and have given up. I don’t want that. I never want us to fall apart. You’re the rock that I’ve been holding on since then. But then this got me thinking. Am I really staying because I love you or is it because I’ve been so accustomed of you being there to support me. You’re becoming the routine not the reason for living.

I know you might read this sooner or later ‘cause I know you stalk my Tumblr, but I hope you understand. I’m just in a point in my life where I need a breath of fresh air. I told you before that I wanted to find myself, the real me. I want to become a person that is worth loving. I want to have confidence in myself that a guy would really love me. I want to be like you that knows who he is, what to believe in, and sees where he’ll go in life. I want to be like that. I want to have a mind of my own. And I don’t think I can achieve that when you’re there saying that I’m okay with who I am now. Frankly, I’m not satisfied with myself yet. I want to do more. I want to have more time. I want to nurture myself before I can nurture you.

I hope you’ll never think that this is your fault or you’re the cause of the problem because you’re not. I’m the one that uncertain here. I’m the one at fault. I’m sorry.


xxx
Renee

Monday, April 04, 2011

Plans | Summer 2011


My ever so practical mother has booked us plane tickets to Cagayan de Oro where we will spend 1 week of pure bliss in the scorching hot sun. I don’t know what my mom’s itinerary is but I’m really excited. This will be the first time that I’ll be going there and if my memory serves me right, they have a gorgeous white beach there. So, I’m really excited and then there’s also the white water rafting. I’m so stoked! I hope I can do the white water rafting. I’ll try to keep you guys updated so that you can travel with me to the wonderful city of Cagayan de Oro. :D


xxx
Renee
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