I now see my crimes and although I do not regret them I still think of them as lessons learned. I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for my mistakes in the past. Even if I might have severed some ties, I did make new ones. I've lost interest in things and yet gained new ones. I think this year had been a year of getting to know myself and actually growing up. I've made a lot of mistakes and some mistakes I admit, I do regret but you know what? I was happy when I did all of those mistakes and it just proves a Filipino saying, "Nasa huli ang pagsisisi" or it is at the end when you will regret everything, or something like that. I don't want to point any fingers anymore but I will focus on myself more. I'll do my best or at least try to do my best with whatever I do. I think being able to realize and see how wrong I was is a start. I can't change in a snap, no one can, but I will try to do what I think is right and what is needed to be done. I won't let my feelings take over anymore and mess up everything that I have.
I think that's the only regret I have with my life. I was weak and I was naive but I won't be like that anymore. I've got my head on my shoulder and I won't float away. I won't be that girl that fucked up everything in her life. I'm gonna be strong and keep fighting. I won't let anyone ruin my life even if that means being single for awhile. I'll choose someone that's better and someone who can provide for what I need and not be insecure with what I have. I deserve better. You deserve better. We all deserve better. I don't think I can go back to who I am way back when I started this year and I don't want to go back. I'll start the year in a good tone and that's by spending time with family. I need to fix everything in my life, thus "OPERATION: FIX LIFE" the title of my blog is still relevant. I need to fix things and I will constantly fix everything until everything is back to normal and my family knows who I really am and who I have become.
I think that's it. Sorry for the long post, I just needed to get it out of my chest and I think I need this to constantly remind me of the person I was before the year had started. Thanks for reading it guys. ♥
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